uncertainty

i consider myself a minimalist and an adventurist, but the uncertainty of life's details, is starting to take a toll on me. i will either go mentally nuts (not something i haven't done before) or turn into one of those crazy eyed radical christians that everyone whispers about. i feel my body tensing as my mind tries to find a way mentally and physically to survive, and then as i remember there is no way out even if i wanted one, my body relaxes and i give up or give in or both and there is a weird goodness in the mist the chaotic uncertainty.